Research Essay-Rough Draft 1

Ja’Najah White

ENGL 1001-025

Mr. Maxey

30 March 2020

                                                       A scream out for Change

Have you ever heard of TANF and What it is used for? Temporary Assistance for Needy Families is a program that began in the 1997 for families who are struggling to survive on their own. They say the program mostly focus on 3 big topics the world needs better development at. First, help families in need in care for their own children. Second, get single mother and families off Welfare quickly, especially through paid work. Finally, encourage more marriage which would help stop the teen pregnancy. Many years has passed and teen pregnancy has increased. Food stamps have been limited. Even the wealthiest person in the world can still be struggling. Learning to survive on their own can be a challenge for some people. The system of Welfare isn’t as fair as they say it is. Food stamps should be provided for everyone. Even if they are unemployed, Welfare checks doesn’t help the single mothers pay their bills. Welfare has decrease some of the levels of benefits because it allows the government and the taxpayers to save a lot more money.

If a person makes 25,000 or more a year, he or she is not eligible for benefits. Social Welfare has been shown that helps the needy people of our society. For example, there is a mean test where people submit information into a system to see if they are eligible or not. Professor Beresford states the system really should be harassing those it should be helping. “Time must be called on the constant reruns of divisive and self-serving attacks on welfare and the devalued groups it serves” (Beresford, 2009). In other words, Professor Beresford believes that the system should really focus on the people who has the most serious issues other than just helping the needy people. He wants them to try to aim for the people who come from very harsh backgrounds which are the people who really are not financial stable. “The argument for shifting from universal to targeted means-tested benefits and services has long been that it focuses resources more efficiently and meets the needs of those who really need help, rather than wasting them on people who should be able to manage on their own” (Beresford, 2009). If the government believes the higher income can survive on their own, then they should send out surveys to see if the people are really doing well on their own. They don’t know the struggle of a person who makes a higher income because their attention is focused on the young and the poor. Everyone in the world struggles but the people who are in charge doesn’t really know because they don’t take the time to see where the society is at. The system needs to be re-informed to a way where it helps everyone in such need. But being poor is a personal decision to the people; the government shouldn’t be telling the people what to do with their lives. They shouldn’t be saying this certain person should be able to handle situations on their own. Life can be a struggle for everyone a person who has a higher income should be allowed to not all but certain benefits. Food stamps should be provided for everyone. It is never a day where a mother can’t provide a decent meal for her child because all her money went towards rent. Food stamps should be a safety net for anyone.

The argument against food stamps are well known. Food stamps has been known to keep the people of our society from being in poverty or hungry. Over the pass 10 years + food stamps have increased over time. But food stamps isn’t for everybody it’s usually a personal decision on who gets what; the government should allow everyone to at least have a certain amount of money for food stamps. “Currently, SNAP’s funding comes completely from the federal government, encouraging states to enroll as many people as possible” (Montgmery 2013). If this is something that the government wants than why select a few people to have food stamps? Why not all? Out of all the people checks the people are paying taxes , which is barley enough to survive on. If the government can take out taxes from their checks than the people should be able to have some government assistance with the help to feeding their kids when needed. The higher the people income the more taxes they take out from checks and the more taxes they take out the less money they have left over from paying bills. “This change allows individuals to stay on food stamps with less incentive to improve their economic situation, draining taxpayers and discouraging self-reliance” (Montgmery, 2013). People who makes more than an average person still needs government assistance. There are some people who just isn’t ready to live the world on their own. It can be hard for them to have to save money in order to get what they need. The governemt should get more invlolve with the people, they should really focus on the areas where everyone struggles. The person who makes more can geniuly lose it all because it only takes one simple mistake to be made. Helping the people to survive on its on can be really tough on a lot of people. A little support shouldn’t be that hard to receive from the federal government. Food stamps should be provided for everyone and not just for the poor. Rich people can be starvng as well as an average person. The welfarm system needs to be rebuilt because everyone has a personal need the government just don’t care for what the people needs.

The arguments against Welfare are well known. Welfare has been shown to be unfair to certain people. Child support, food stamps, healthcare, money assistance and the biggest one cutting Welfare rolls. If Welfare was created to make all happy, if the government were taking taxes out of our checks than they should at least provide the person with a check that will help them fill that hole the person is stuck in. “Meanwhile, the nation’s 3.7 million welfare families confront an urgent problem: they do not get enough money from welfare to pay their bills” (Jencks,2000). Even if they are receiving a Welfare check doesn’t mean it’s something that person can really depend of it. Most mothers have to lie and cheat their way through the system in order to receive a decent check that can help her and her children to survive. But lying and cheating can come with a lot of consequences with the government. “But low benefits have another, more sinister effect that neither conservatives nor liberals like to acknowledge: they force most welfare recipients to lie and cheat in order to survive” (Jencks,2000). Lying to the system can give that specific person jail time because if they put it like this, its stealing from the government. Taking advantage of what they are trying to really building for the society who really needs help. It’s always important to turn in what you work every 6 months to a year. “Yet if they report that they are working, the welfare department will soon reduce their checks by almost the full amount of their earnings, leaving them as desperate as before” (Jencks,2000). Reporting you work doesn’t never mean an end to receiving a Welfare check. “The only way most welfare recipients can keep their families together is to combine work and welfare” (Jencks,2000). If the government really understand the problem of the society from the inside than he or she would feel guilty to what the system is doing to the people. There are answers out there to the questions of so many the government just got to do a better job at finding the right evidence to get the correct answer to the solutions. Being govern it can be hard to know what happening on the inside but that

doesn’t mean that can’t use single mothers as a source, the feedback might just be the key to a better system for the FUTURE.

It is often argued that Welfare program has not reduce the life of poverty. Welfare needs a bit of remodeling the system. But means test is not completely inaccurate. If the government cut back some of the money than the world would not go into bankruptcy. The people should appreciate what the government is trying to accomplish. The changes the government is making will allow a lot more opportunity and save the world lots of money. “Able-bodied welfare recipients should be required to work or prepare for work as a condition of receiving aid” (Smith,2010). In order for single mother to receive the benefit that have to at least submit into the system that they 30 hrs. or more. “Granting welfare to able-bodied adults creates a potential moral hazard because it can lead to an increase in the behaviors that generate the need for aid in the first place” (smith,2010). The people who are the strongest and knows how to survive should be asking for loans and not grants. However, making a person get a loan can also lead that person in a really big debt. Therefore, if the government make these changes it can cause a lot of problems for the people and as well the government.

In concluding, the federal government job is to provide government assistance for the people in need. The government doesn’t see the world how we see it from our point of view. And when I say he doesn’t see in our point of view is he doesn’t see how the people they don’t provide for the people who doesn’t receive government assistance. Food stamps are something everyone should have because there might be a day a parent can’t provide food for their children. It is always good to be a part of the society because there are a lot of situations nobody never knows about until you actually go out and do your digging of finding information. The social work field takes hard dedication to be in this field. They even have to give up all your time in the world just so you can help out the people in need. Teen pregnancy is a choice for young girls. The system needs to have a due over because everything is changing in this society. We need an upgrade on everything, we can’t always keep it the same.

                                                             Works Cited

“Means-test welfare reform is a costly waste | Peter Beresford,” The Guardian. 01 April .2020 https://www.theguardian.com/society/2009/oct/28/means-test-welfare-benefits

Published by Ja'Najah White

Unique Artist !!! #Freeeee my brothaa

One thought on “Research Essay-Rough Draft 1

  1. Part 1
    1. Read the entire essay.

    2. Are there any confusing parts of the text? If so, where? Explain what parts are confusing and how the author might fix them.

    In the beginning the thesis is not clearly stated, it just gets confusing trying to figure out the over all topic. It also jumps back and forth through information.

    3. Are there any places in the text that misuse or are missing in-text citation (last name and page number)? If so, where? Explain what the author should do to fix these citations.

    No, citations are where they need to be.

    4. Are there any places in the text that are vague or need more support? If so, where? What might the author do to fix this section?

    There seems to be only one source, I think adding more sources would help your argument out a lot more than only one!

    Introduction
    1. In the introduction, does the author have a clear Hook? What is it? If he/she doesn’t have anything interesting what might he/she use to pull the reader into his/her essay? Provide at least one suggestion for how the author can make this section more interesting, clearer, etc.

    I think the hook looks good, it definitely pulled my attention starting with a question. I really had no idea what TANF stood for.

    2. 4. Does the author explain the history of the issue? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? Does the author provide a history of the argument surrounding the issue? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? Does the author explain the relevance of the issue? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? Does the author explain why a unique solution is necessary? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? Provide at least one suggestion for improving or adding to the author’s background section.

    Yes, there were a lot of dates and things provided throughout the essay, just adding more sources would really help your argument.

    3. Does the author have a clear thesis? Does it have a clear purpose (proposed solution)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? Does it have clear direction (at least 3 arguments)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? Are there any ways the author can make this clearer or more succinct? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    The thesis is not clearly stated. The information is good but a good thesis sentence would make the essay stronger. There is 3 arguments but they are not clearly stated. Adding a few clear statements about them just help.

    Main Point 1
    4. Does the author have a clear topic sentence for Main Point 1? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? How might he/she make it clearer?

    Yes, just state it so its clear. I kind of had to look for it.

    5. Does the author provide a syllogism explaining the logic behind his/her first argument (2 premises and 1 claim). If so, then is there any way the author can make the syllogism clearer? Is there any way the author can/should change the syllogism so that it is logically valid and true? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    Yes, there is logic behind the first argument.

    6. Does the author provide support for his/her first premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    Yes, nothing needs to be done.

    7. Does the author provide support for his/her second premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    No, she does not. Just add a couple more examples and it would be better.

    8. Does the author explain the implications of the evidence (why they prove that their first argument [reason] is true)? Does the author connect the claim (of the syllogism) to the main point? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this section? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    Yes, I think enough information is provided.

    9. Does the author provide a clear transitionary sentence as the final sentence of Main Point 1?

    Yes, she clearly states when she starts main point 2.

    Main Point 2

    10. Does the author have a clear topic sentence for Main Point 2? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? How might he/she make it clearer?

    No, the information is kind of all over the place.

    11. Does the author provide a syllogism explaining the logic behind his/her second argument (2 premises and 1 claim). If so, then is there any way the author can make the syllogism clearer? Is there any way the author can/should change the syllogism so that it is logically valid and true? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    Yes, I think enough information provided.

    12. Does the author provide support for his/her first premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    No, but she could fix this just by adding an example and making it understandable for the reader.

    13. Does the author provide support for his/her second premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    Yes, she supports her premise. I think there is enough information.

    14. Does the author explain the implications of the evidence (why they prove that their first argument [reason] is true)? Does the author connect the claim (of the syllogism) to the main point? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this section? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    Yes, she connects all information

    15. Does the author provide a clear transitionary sentence as the final sentence of Main Point 2?

    No. It goes straight to the conclusion. Not really sure if there is a main point 3.

    Main Point 3
    16. Does the author have a clear topic sentence for Main Point 3? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? How might he/she make it clearer?

    Main point 3 is not clear to me at all. Add one more point with more information.

    17. Does the author provide a syllogism explaining the logic behind his/her third argument (2 premises and 1 claim). If so, then is there any way the author can make the syllogism clearer? Is there any way the author can/should change the syllogism so that it is logically valid and true? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    There is not a main point 3.

    18. Does the author provide support for his/her first premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    19. Does the author provide support for his/her second premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    20. Does the author explain the implications of the evidence (why they prove that their first argument [reason] is true)? Does the author connect the claim (of the syllogism) to the main point? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this section? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    21. Does the author provide a clear transitionary sentence as the final sentence of Main Point 3?

    Main Point 4 (if necessary)
    22. Does the author have a clear topic sentence for Main Point 3? If not, what might he/she do to fix this? How might he/she make it clearer?

    23. Does the author provide a syllogism explaining the logic behind his/her third argument (2 premises and 1 claim). If so, then is there any way the author can make the syllogism clearer? Is there any way the author can/should change the syllogism so that it is logically valid and true? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    24. Does the author provide support for his/her first premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    25. Does the author provide support for his/her second premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    26. Does the author explain the implications of the evidence (why they prove that their first argument [reason] is true)? Does the author connect the claim (of the syllogism) to the main point? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this section? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    27. Does the author provide a clear transitionary sentence as the final sentence of Main Point 3?

    Refutation:
    28. Does the author provide an objective explanation of any counter positions/solutions? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this? Are there any ways that the counter positions could be made clearer? Are there any counter positions the author might have missed? Are there any ways to develop this section more fully? Does the author explain places where the opposing argument is valid? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    There is not a refutation provided.

    29. Does the author explain why the counter position(s) is/are wrong using a clear syllogism? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this?

    30. Does the author provide support for his/her first premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    31. Does the author provide support for his/her second premise (of the syllogism)? If not, what might he/she do to fix this (What support would make this section clearer or more developed?)? Provide at least one suggestion.

    32. Does the author explain the implications of the evidence (why they prove that the counter position(s) are wrong)? Does the author connect the claim (of the syllogism) to the overall argument (of the essay)? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this section? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    Conclusion
    33. Does the author restate his/her main ideas clearly? Is there anything the author might do to better summarize his/her main arguments? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    No, the main point is very confusing. Just make things a little more clear. Make all 3 of your arguments clear. Separate the information into more paragraphs.

    34. Does the author provide a clear application section – that is, does the author clearly explain (1) who is affected by the solution, (2) how the solution affects the audience, (3) what the positive effects are, and (4) what the negative effects may be? If the author has not included all of this information, then what is missing? If the author has included all of this information, then what might the author do to make this section clearer or more developed (what other effects, audiences, etc. might there be)? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    Yes to….1,3 but no to…2,4. I think adding this information will help the reader understand more.

    35. Does the author provide a clear indication of the benefits of the solution? If not, then what are some benefits the author might include? Provide at least one suggestion.

    Yes. She provides the benefits and somewhat a solution. Im still kind of not sure what the whole arguments is.

    36. Does the author provide specific steps that the audience should follow to solve this issue? If not, then what might he/she do to fix this section? Are there any steps that the author may not have accounted for? If so, what are they? Provide at least one suggestion for revision.

    No, add the steps. I would say add the steps to solve the problem. But first make the issue clear.

    37. Does the author effectively conclude the essay? If so, what makes the conclusion effective? If not, then what might he/she do to more effectively conclude this essay?

    Somewhat yes. Make sure to go over everything in the conclusion that you explained in the essay. Only provided the main points.

    Works Cited Page
    38. Does the author have a works cited page? If so, does he/she have at least 10 sources? If not, how can he/she fix this?

    No. Add 9 more sources. More information

    Overall
    39. Are any parts of the essay lopsided? (For instance, does main point 1 have more evidence or a longer paragraph than main point 2?) How can the author fix this?

    Yes main point one has way more information than main point two just adding a little more should even them out.

    40. Are there any other comments or concerns you have with this essay? Provide at least 2 suggestions for how the author might add length to his/her essay.

    I would say just make sure you find 9 more sources to provide more information and make your points clear because I can only find 2. Make sure you even out your information also.

    41. List at least 1 place where the author can add content (length) [more evidence, examples, detail, support, etc.].

    Add a main point 3. With examples and information.

    Like

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